I have had one hell of a week with the kids. As you can read from my previous post my house has been out of control. Trying to blog throughout the week has been impossible. I am finding that a lot of the problem with my kids behavior lies with my husband and I. Its almost as though we have forgot how to be parents and are just trying to exist in this house with our kids. We try the basic time out and grounding but our follow through sucks! We live under a cloud of anger all the time. The yelling and fighting has worn us both down.
So I got online and starting searching for a plan, you could call it my only New Years Resolution. I need to find a way to gain some control and become a positive parent again. There is so much information out there. Parenting courses, programs to buy and forums that offer great resources. But I am one of those people that need simple and direct action immediately. So after much frustration with all the piles of information I decided to start searching for some at home activities to do with the kids instead. I stumbles upon this great website www.creativekidsathome.com that gave all kinds of activities for the kids to do, but to my delight I also found a link to program to help with the children’s behavior. It’s called the Better Behavior Wheel and here is a summary of what it is about.

“The Better Behavior Wheel is an upbeat fun tool for behavior management. Families who use the Wheel report dramatic changes in their households. Homework gets done, clothes get picked up and arguing stops. By the mere physical presence of the Wheel being displayed, behavior can be modified and discipline maintained. Funny how just having it on the wall has helped with the bickering already,” states Mrs. Rachele Gleason.”

“You can effectively modify your children’s behavior by using the Wheel from http://www.BetterBehaviorWheel.com. And whats exciting is no more straining your mind to think of appropriate punishments or having things go on till you blow up. The children, in a family meeting, agree upon the consequences of not doing as they should in 7 different areas that come with the Wheel such as Excessive Arguing”, Talking Back”, and Not Putting Things Away”. Blanks are included so you can add your own areas and consequences.”

“Guess what? You, the parent, are no longer the bad guy and can even root for your child to get one of the lesser punishments. Maybe there can even be a free spin” if you decide to include one on the wheel. Your children answer to the wheel loaded with punishments they agreed to.”

“Lest you think this is all about punishment, the wheel also comes with the Wheel of Just Desserts for positive reinforcements. Perhaps a week of no trips to the Better Behavior Wheel can call for a spin on the Wheel of Just Desserts. Imagine the effect of the possibility of winning Your Favorite Meal” or A Trip to the Movies” or One Game Rental”. Whatever your family decides upon as an appropriate goodie.”

“Try the Better Behavior Wheel configured to meet the unique needs of your family. Hang the Wheel on your kitchen wall and watch the atmosphere in your home change overnight. Personalization of the wheel is available. You might want one for each child so the consequences are fully individualized.”

For more information, please go to http://www.BetterBehaviorWheel.com

So I went the the author site and read more about the program and of course the cost. To my surprise it only cost $14.95 for the instant download version.  Julie Butler also created the program to be purchase as a kit with a wheel and interchangeable cards that can hang right on the wall. I found the average cost for this kit to be about $29.95 depending on the site selling it. I plan to stick with the download version as my laptop is always accessible from any room. If anyone has used the program leave me comment and tell me what you think. I’m also open to any other ideas or tips for positive parenting.
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I am really starting to feel the Christmas pinch this year and I must admit I’m a bit sad. Now I’m no stranger to a tight budget for the Holidays but somehow I always manage to pull some thing together just in the nick of time. I know I have a few more weeks but I will tell you my brain is tapped out.  I am avoiding the malls, heck I’m even avoiding Wal-Mart as I know I can’t buy the things for my kids that I would like let alone the things that they really need.

At this point I have to think homemade. I just inherited a sewing machine and once I figure out how to actually turn it on I plan to make some homemade bed sets for the kids. I have been hunting ads for blow-out bargains on material. I am also going to make each of my kids an Arts-n-Crafts tote of their own. I’m fed up with lost scissors, empty tape and hard glue not to mention the broken crayons and dried up markers. So I found these totes with handles at the $1 store and I’m going to fill each one with glue, scissors, crayons, markers, tape and I’m even throwing a stack of sticky notes in there so they quick using mine up! As for family and friends I plan to give a tin of baked goodies.

I would love to hear some of your homemade or handmade gift ideas, please I am in desperate need of HELP!! Well maybe not as desperate as the Mommy Pic below but I am getting close. Enjoy and Happy Holidays!!

“I’m not looking for a handout; I just need a fair chance.” Those were the words of a single father from southern Utah who was about to become homeless with a 9year old son. The story was published by the local newspaper earlier this week. It’s about a man who lost his job after 7 years in the landscaping business only to find a part-time dish-washing job for $7.50 an hour. Not making nearly enough to pay the rent, he had to move. And the utilities to his apartment had been shut off earlier in the week because the money just wasn’t there to pay the bill. The story goes on as he loads a friend’s car with what things he could take with him for his son. With no money, no place to go and no job to support his family. But to my delight dozens of people in his community helped with money donations, one with a car to help him get around and a local business co-owner gave him a job with a future, some temporary housing for him and his son and food to get them through for a few weeks.

This story drew my attention for more than one reason but the main reason being that even in this time of financial hardship we have to help our neighbors. No matter our own financial situation something big or small can and needs to be done. If anyone understands better it is the people who are struggling themselves, like me, and can respect, appreciate and relate to others in need. I also walk in the shoes of financial hardship right now, not knowing from month to month how I am going to pay all the bills, feed the kids and just simply survive. And I wonder how I can help another family when I am not even sure how to help my own family.

Not having the financial means to help someone in need doesn’t mean you still can’t help. There are many organizations out there like, local newspapers, radio stations and churches that are willing to help they just need to know where the help is needed. You can be that struggling family’s voice. Believe me when I say it is not always a matter of pride that stands in the way of asking for help. There are times when the situation has gone beyond pride and becomes sheer hopelessness in a person’s ability to provide for their family. A few years ago my family faced poverty head on. My husband worked in construction and his hours had dwindled to near nothing. I can remember many nights him and I went to bed hungry to make sure there was enough food for our 4 kids. It was during Christmas time and my mom, in her own financial despair had taken her last $150 to buy our family food. There were no thoughts of Christmas in our house; we were just trying to make sure the power stayed on. One of the local radio stations was hosting a charitable Christmas event in which my mom wrote in, explained our situation and we were given $500 towards food and Christmas for our kids. She was my voice during one of the most difficult times in our lives! I had reached the point where asking for help seemed impossible, I didn’t know where to turn or who to turn to anymore. To this day I am still grateful for that donation and to my mom for finding a way to help us when we really needed it most.

Please pay attention to the needs of your family, friends and neighbors. If you think there is a need, help that person get it. Not only will it benefit you in feeling a complete sense of selflessness, but it will never be forgotten by them I GUARANTEE IT!! I would like to hear your stories. Knowing that we are not alone in these times of hardship may not help the financial situation we are in but knowing that we are not alone in our struggles means so much. We can relate, support and lend a hand in many ways. And to those that can help others let us know how to find you.

And in closing to the local business owner who offered this dad a job, a temporary roof over his head and a few weeks worth of groceries – As we have grown up side by side there are many moments from the past in which I stand tall and proud to call you my brother but none as tall or as proud as today. Your willingness to give to others, the selfless acts and the fact that you have faith in everyone. You see the potential in the future and not the mistakes of the past and for that you amaze me. I have watched over the years as you opened your doors to family and friends not because you felt obligated but because you felt that everyone needs to just be given a chance to succeed.  See the thing that makes you different from the other many generous people out there is that you have walked in the shoes of many in needs in one way or the other and therefore you don’t cast judgment you just simply understand and respect. Your contribution to this struggling mans life will change his life and will also change the way many people view the need for help in our society. Thank You for being who you are and thank you for giving me yet another reason to be proud to call you my little brother!!

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