As noted in previous articles on my blog I made the decision to evaluate some major issues within my marriage. After 10 happy and not so happy years with my hubby we had hit a new all time low. I had actually tossed the “D” work around a time or too. After one major fight and the breaking of my seven years heart (by yelling those ugly words “get out” that the whole family heard) I had to do some major sole searching and quick. I quickly discovered that our “sexless” marriage was one big problem. I think more for him than I as I was pretty content with not doing the deed, honestly! But I knew this was an issue I was going to have to face so I wrote of list of reasons why I wasn’t willing…WOW click here to see the list:

http://mommymachelle.info/2008/11/20/sex-and-marriage-you-cant-have-one-without-the-other/

My husband wrote a list of reasons why he thought he wasn’t getting any, click here to see his list:

http://mommymachelle.info/2008/12/02/that-sex-and-marriage-thing-part-2/

Once the lists were created and the discussions were now open things actually started to change. Now I can’t say by any means we are having a healthy sex life but we both took the time to see what each other was feeling and thinking.

Things are finally starting to clam down on the home front with the holidays and travel over so I thought I now need to focus on this again. I know what some of the reasons are for our lack of sex as discovered with the “lists” now I needed to find some of the less obvious reasons why sex is important. So with some searching online here is what I came up with:

10 reasons I should be having sex

1. Sex Relieves Stress
A big health benefit of sex is lower blood pressure and overall stress reduction.
2. Sex Boosts Immunity
Good sexual health may mean better physical health. Having sex once or twice a week has been linked with higher levels of an antibody called immunoglobulin A or IgA, which can protect you from getting colds and other infections.
3. Sex Burns Calories
Thirty minutes of sex burns 85 calories or more. It may not sound like much, but it adds up: 42 half-hour sessions will burn 3,570 calories, more than enough to lose a pound. Doubling up, you could drop that pound in 21 hour-long sessions.
4. Sex Improves Cardiovascular Health
While some older folks may worry that the efforts expended during sex could cause a stroke, that’s not so, and the heart health benefits of sex don’t end there. The researchers also found that having sex twice or more a week reduced the risk of fatal heart attack by half for the men, compared with those who had sex less than once a month.
5. Sex Boosts Self-Esteem
Boosting self-esteem was one of 237 reasons people have sex. That finding makes sense to Gina Ogden, PhD, a sex therapist and marriage and family therapist in Cambridge, Mass., although she finds that those who already have self-esteem say they sometimes have sex to feel even better. “One of the reasons people say they have sex is to feel good about themselves,” she tells WebMD. “Great sex begins with self-esteem, and it raises it. If the sex is loving, connected, and what you want, it raises it.”
6. Sex Improves Intimacy
Having sex and orgasms increases levels of the hormone oxytocin, the so-called love hormone, which helps us bond and build trust. Higher oxytocin has also been linked with a feeling of generosity. So if you’re feeling suddenly more generous toward your partner than usual, credit the love hormone.
7. Sex Reduces Pain
As the hormone oxytocin surges, endorphins increase, and pain declines. So if your headache, arthritis pain, or PMS symptoms seem to improve after sex, you can thank those higher oxytocin levels.
8. Sex Reduces Prostate Cancer Risk
Frequent ejaculations, especially in 20-something men, may reduce the risk of prostate cancer later in life,
9. Sex Strengthens Pelvic Floor Muscles
For women, doing a few pelvic floor muscle exercises known as Kegels during sex offers a couple of benefits. You will enjoy more pleasure, and you’ll also strengthen the area and help to minimize the risk of incontinence later in life.
10. Sex Helps You Sleep Better
The oxytocin released during orgasm also promotes sleep, according to research.

To read this article in it’s entirety click here “Top 10 Reasons To Have Sex Tonight”

Pretty interesting stuff. I have always know there was health benefits to having sex but to burn that many calories, hell that’s one step in the right direction in boosting my self esteem. I think this list provides some excellent research of the health benefits of having sex now I will focus my efforts on how to get me to agree to have sex, I think that is where our problems lies.[ad#ad-6]

Whats for dinner? I though I would jump over to cheap family meals for a sneak peak at whats on the menu for the week. Oh Boy it is my favorite dish. This week the recipes are focused on simply delicious desserts. Here is a sample of whats on the menu:

Cheap Family Meals – Simply Delicious Desserts

• Pumpkin Chocolate Chip Cookies – they taste just like the one’s in the store. The recipe only calls for 3 ingredients! How easy can it be?
• Microwave Brownies – so simple to make, it’s the perfect recipe for the kids to help with.
• Cinnamon Rolls – using a simple bread recipe and a homemade icing that’s the best in town, this will be the perfect Sunday morning treat for the family.
• Coconut Bars – simply said my favorite. I am familiar with the ingredients but the recipe puts them together in a whole new way. YUMMY!
• Sugar Cookies – but not just any sugar cookie recipe, the softest sugar cookie recipe in town.

Okay those are all I get my hands one, we will just have to keep checking back to see what else they are baking up. I hope they throw in a few dinner ideas, I could personally live on desserts all week but my family wouldn’t go for it!

I have had one hell of a week with the kids. As you can read from my previous post my house has been out of control. Trying to blog throughout the week has been impossible. I am finding that a lot of the problem with my kids behavior lies with my husband and I. Its almost as though we have forgot how to be parents and are just trying to exist in this house with our kids. We try the basic time out and grounding but our follow through sucks! We live under a cloud of anger all the time. The yelling and fighting has worn us both down.
So I got online and starting searching for a plan, you could call it my only New Years Resolution. I need to find a way to gain some control and become a positive parent again. There is so much information out there. Parenting courses, programs to buy and forums that offer great resources. But I am one of those people that need simple and direct action immediately. So after much frustration with all the piles of information I decided to start searching for some at home activities to do with the kids instead. I stumbles upon this great website www.creativekidsathome.com that gave all kinds of activities for the kids to do, but to my delight I also found a link to program to help with the children’s behavior. It’s called the Better Behavior Wheel and here is a summary of what it is about.

“The Better Behavior Wheel is an upbeat fun tool for behavior management. Families who use the Wheel report dramatic changes in their households. Homework gets done, clothes get picked up and arguing stops. By the mere physical presence of the Wheel being displayed, behavior can be modified and discipline maintained. Funny how just having it on the wall has helped with the bickering already,” states Mrs. Rachele Gleason.”

“You can effectively modify your children’s behavior by using the Wheel from http://www.BetterBehaviorWheel.com. And whats exciting is no more straining your mind to think of appropriate punishments or having things go on till you blow up. The children, in a family meeting, agree upon the consequences of not doing as they should in 7 different areas that come with the Wheel such as Excessive Arguing”, Talking Back”, and Not Putting Things Away”. Blanks are included so you can add your own areas and consequences.”

“Guess what? You, the parent, are no longer the bad guy and can even root for your child to get one of the lesser punishments. Maybe there can even be a free spin” if you decide to include one on the wheel. Your children answer to the wheel loaded with punishments they agreed to.”

“Lest you think this is all about punishment, the wheel also comes with the Wheel of Just Desserts for positive reinforcements. Perhaps a week of no trips to the Better Behavior Wheel can call for a spin on the Wheel of Just Desserts. Imagine the effect of the possibility of winning Your Favorite Meal” or A Trip to the Movies” or One Game Rental”. Whatever your family decides upon as an appropriate goodie.”

“Try the Better Behavior Wheel configured to meet the unique needs of your family. Hang the Wheel on your kitchen wall and watch the atmosphere in your home change overnight. Personalization of the wheel is available. You might want one for each child so the consequences are fully individualized.”

For more information, please go to http://www.BetterBehaviorWheel.com

So I went the the author site and read more about the program and of course the cost. To my surprise it only cost $14.95 for the instant download version.  Julie Butler also created the program to be purchase as a kit with a wheel and interchangeable cards that can hang right on the wall. I found the average cost for this kit to be about $29.95 depending on the site selling it. I plan to stick with the download version as my laptop is always accessible from any room. If anyone has used the program leave me comment and tell me what you think. I’m also open to any other ideas or tips for positive parenting.
[ad#ad-6]